Mother-Daughter Cycle

I always said i would never say the things my mum used to say to me, to my children. Have you ever said that to yourself?  Things like:  when i was a little girl... I was never allowed to wear makeup. When i was a little girl i ALWAYS had to eat all of my peas.  And then when i became a mum, sometimes i catch myself saying the same things to my kids and thinking omg i sound just like my mother.

When i was left home i always thought i would spend heaps of time with my mum. But then life gets in the way, kids, husbands, work, just stuff. Then the phone calls dwindle and the visits become irregular. Finding time for my mum is hard or maybe its not the finding of the time - its making the effort.  Of course i am there for her when she needs me, to take her places and be a shoulder for her.  But what i have come to realise just in the last week or 2 is that maybe she just needs to hear from me a bit more. To go visit just to say hi and for her to be more involved with my family.  After all she is the only mum i have.

I have come to this conclusion because i am now a mum with a daughter who has moved out. I miss her more than i ever thought i would. I don't want to crowd her or be a pushy interfering mother, but i just miss her face, miss her voice, miss the way she used to crash through the front door at 2am after a night out. I even miss the way she managed to get hair dye from one end of the bathroom to the other.

I wonder, does MY mum miss this kind of thing? I never ever ONCE wondered about this when i left home and here i am a grown woman of 43yrs and its just dawned on me that my mum could be feeling this way too. I don't want my daughter to treat me the way i have treated my mum.

Mum, i love you so much, and i am sorry that i haven't been in your life more.
Hayley you better be in my life baby because u mean the world to me.

Hayley my gorgeous daughter

My Mum

 



Tues:  So today i invited my mum and nephew Drew over for lunch. It was really lovely spending some time together. I made Declans recipe for Potato & Bacon Soup, some fresh bread rolls and a couple of games of Rummikub made for a great afternoon. Something we should do more often!  (& of course i kicked ass in Rummikub hehehe)